The Problems with Snow White..

Updated: Sep 23, 2018


Ahhh...Snow White. A childhood classic that brings so many memories to my little mind - until tonight!

Tonight, I read this classic to my girl and she had so many questions with pretty much everything in the book, and it got me questioning too...(I just remember listening and enjoying when I was younger 😭)

So, here's my list....

1. Jealous evil (queen) stepmother - afraid of getting old and ugly. Yep, TICK ✅. Totally get you Queeny I'm feeling that way most days myself! Loving you from the start!

2. Queeny arranges hunter to have Snow White killed. Okay, here's where I slightly turned off you - but then again, I still get it! Botox wasn't invented back then...different times, different actions...Okay, we're still good.

3. Queeny, maybe chill with a bottle of wine and think this over 🤔 Call the girls, have a bitch session and then all work together to break your stupid mirror. Problem solved. Grow old gracefully.

4. Okay. You love your narcissist mirror. It's staying. You break up, you make up - just stop telling your friends about what an A-hole he is 🙄.

5. Your hired killer couldn't kill Snow White. He tells her to run and hide. Nice, but hope you get your money back? 😬

6. Snow White stumbles across a little cottage and just lets herself in (let's not mention she's just been talking to forest animals prior to this 😱).

7. Snow White cleans the cottage (slightly rude) then makes herself at home on 3 of the little beds (extremely rude). The dwarfs come home to find her and are extremely excited that she (apparently - let's be honest, there's no proof) knows how to cook. Snow White may stay, no other questions needed! I wonder if it were Shrek that there'd be the same warm welcome? *discrimination...cough*. At least Grumpy told her to go back to where she belongs! (no one cares about Grump's amazing words of wisdom!)

8. Queeny finds out from nasty ex/not ex mirror that Snow White lives. Finally realises that if you want something done you've got to do it yourself. Makes evil plan *again, can someone just give this chick a wine?*

9. Queeny poisons a juicy apple and visits Snow White. (Modern day version of spiking a drink. So wrong Queeny. So wrong. Here is where I press the 'unfriend' button) Also the reason I haven't eaten an apple since I was thank you very much Disney! 🙄

10. Snow White accepts juicy Apple from strange woman because strange woman insists all her dreams will come true with one bite. (Snow White, I think you need to lay off the drugs?)

11. Dwarfs come home to find (what they believe to be) dead Snow White. She's too beautiful to bury underground so they build her an above-ground glass coffin. *Wow, really? Did they seriously consider this concept? Let's take a moment to think about this in further detail... 😬

12. Oh, sorry. I got caught up in the above ground coffin that I failed to mention that Queeny fell off the edge of a cliff when dwarfs chased her. She died (I don't remember this bit from my childhood?) Either way she should have just settled with a wine and a go on Tinder and she'd probably still be alive today? Well....Tinder.....🤔 then again???

13. The Prince comes across apparently DEAD Snow White lying in a glass coffin (who he may have met fleetingly in the past?) and decides to open her coffin and plant a juicy kiss? What I'm not clear on here is how long Miss White had been in this condition for before he found her and WHY anyone would kiss a dead stranger?

I'm gathering it's because she was A. pretty or B. because he suffers from necrophilia (I'm guessing the latter?)

14. THANKFULLY for the Prince Snow White awakes and the Dwarfs are confused. Yet they have no other option than to celebrate, like this is all normal. Maybe it's only Grumpy that's considering finally calling the cops at this stage?

Do you have a favourite childhood story that you're now starting to reconsider after reading it to your child? Please tell us more.....

Kids Play SA writer: Brooke Hendry


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